I have never enjoyed bathing suit shopping.
Honestly, I know very few women who like bathing suit shopping. Who am I kidding?! Even twig-like girls complain about sliding into barely-there threads in the dim, unflattering lighting of a close-quartered dressing room and then having to face the mirror. Seriously-- could the experience be any more painful?
Sometimes I get all jazzed about B.S. shopping because I am excited about warmer weather. That feeling is quickly doused when I am reminded about the way I look missing most of my clothes. Gross!
I have never been a two-piece girl because I am decently modest and my body lacks the necessary nice-looking stomach (I never found it at Dairy Queen-- go figure!) But one pieces pose a few problems.
1. The Bathroom. I have never mastered the trick of "going" and then slipping wet bathing suit straps up without gagging. It requires a delicate dance and wiggle maneuver that always leaves me with a wedgie for the rest of the afternoon.
2. The Unflattering-ness. I don't understand how one pieces can simultaneously push "the ladies" up and down... resulting in a weird boob shape. Weird. My real life friend, Rebecca, calls it the "uni boob". Appropriate.
3. A Nursing Baby in Tow. Last summer I realized that one piece swimsuits are not very nursing friendly. Impossible. Well, unless I would like to pretend I'm nude-beaching it and show everyone all my business. No thank you!
Recently I have decided that for the summer I would like to get a new two piece bathing suit. I know, I know, welcome to the 21st century! I love looking at all the suit options in Lands End's catalog, but was hesitant to throw down that much cash for a B.S. without seeing it first. I had a little muhla left on a Kohl's' gift card, so I began my shopping there this weekend in Charlotte.
I was really disappointed with the lack of selection. All the suits I could have been interested in (tankinis) were halter tops. Now, I think halters are cute on smaller busted girls. Not so much cute going on in the halter department here. And that was all they had! The travesty!
I planned to go to the mall with my mom and sisters and hit up the Sears where it is rumored that the Lands End line is carried. That way I could try their suits and see what I thought.
Before the mall though, we hit Target (be still my heart!) and I FOUND THE PERFECT SUIT! I was skeptical (as usual) entering the dressing room, but with astonishment I realized I found a suit with the appropriate modesty (complete coverage), but it was basically everything I wanted in a B.S. (I knew there was a reason I love that place!) Before I blind you with another set of parenthesis, let me introduce you to my new summer friend.
OK, my B.S. is actually black and white, and I have real bathing suit bottoms instead of a skirt, but do you see it? Oh joy! I love that is it adjustable in two places. The straps adjust (like a cami) which is great! I love having control over the cleavage factor! The sides also adjust up and down, so if I was feeling very risky I could show a bit of midriff! Ooh la la!
Rub me down in sunscreen, I'm ready for the summer!