Monday, May 12, 2008

Heart= Puddle

Yesterday we were having popsicles outside on a gorgeous spring afternoon. Bug loves the freezer pops in the plastic paper. She laid her head on my lap halfway through her treat, and smeared red juice all over my jeans. I laughed and looked over at Hubby. He smiled and said, "You wear 'mommy' very well. And you look hot."

I laughed again and asked if he meant the red popsicle juice all over my pants and he replied, "Yea, and that spot on your shirt. You wear 'mommy' very well."

I think that was one of the most romantic things he has ever said to me during our few years of dating and engagement and our three years of marriage.

Mothers don't have it all together. Rarely do I get to keep an outfit clean all day. (Some days I don't even make it out of my jammies!) I fret about the foods I give my baby, and if I'm dressing her warmly enough. I wonder if I breastfed her long enough to protect her from sickness. I worry when she's sick. I'm anxious when she's away from me. And I wonder what she'll grow to become. I find myself praying my most desperate prayers as I stand beside her crib and watch her slumber peacefully. Please Lord let her come to know You... Please watch over and protect her... Give me the wisdom I need to be her mommy...

Never before have I looked at someone and teared up just thinking about how beautiful she is.

I don't really care if I fit in my skinny jeans, wear the most sought-after clothes, and have a stylish hair cut. So much has paled in comparison with the importance of pouring my blood, sweat, and tears into making a person.

I'm not talking about the nine months that a baby spends in the womb. I'm talking about the lifetime of phone calls, tears cried, laughter shared, lessons learned, hearts broken, words spoken-- the ways Hubby and I help shape our daughter into the person God intends her to be. Never before have I partaken in such an important job. Never before have I been stunned by the magnitude of the daily things.

I feel solemn this Mother's Day. I appreciate the privilege God has granted me to be a mother to Bug (and soon to Bug 2), and I pray that He continues to endow me each day with what I need to be the best mom I possibly can.

(And I love that my husband thinks I'm hot in this whole messy process!)

P.S. Bug took her first steps today. What a precious Mommy Day gift!


momofthreegirls said...

This has got to be one of your best blogs ever! Thanks for sharing it.

Charity and Will Sutphin said...

Happy Mom-Day! I'm glad Andrew gives you romantic comments about clothing stains, lol. So sweet!

Tom Burger said...

There is a sense in being a parent that cannot be described, but is shared by anyone who has ever undertaken this challenging role. You've come as close to capturing it in words as I've ever found.

At the far end of this road you're on you'll find (as we have) that it is worth every moment.

Jackie @ Our Moments Our Memories said...

What a sweet, sweet post. Everything you expressed here I have felt. It's an awesome responsibiity, but so worth every tear, worry, and spilled popsicle. :)

Leigh said... encouraging. I know you are a great mom to Bug (and will be to Bug 2)! Your children are blessed to have you as a mommy. I hope you are doing well. I just happened to click on this post, not realizing it is 6 months old. I hope you see this and know that I was encouraged and challenged to be a better mommy by what you wrote!