Thursday, April 26, 2012

Adoption Momfession

Our home study is tomorrow and I have bitten all the white off my finger nails.

Anxious (and gross) much?!

It's like I'm fully expecting him to say, "You people do not deserve another precious baby-- you aren't even good parents to the three you have!" 'Cause I know the truth-- this is a tough job, and I'm not a perfect parent. By a long stretch.

Sometimes (more than I would like to admit) I yell at my kids. And I set bad behavior examples for them all the time (being selfish, being proud, gossiping, judging, being jealous...) And I feed them more peanut butter and jelly and hot dogs than any human should consume. And sometimes I let them skip taking a bath (I do make them change their underwear though.) And I don't make them wear matching clothes out of the house. And some days I play on Facebook instead of playing with them. And I let them eat ice cream more than they should because then I can eat ice cream without having to share mine.

I guess my deepest fear is that our social worker will call out my junk and say we aren't worthy of adoption. I know I don't deserve the honor of raising another kid-- heck, I don't deserve the honor of raising the three I have now!

So, here we go. We're jumping into the great deep unknown of home studies and dossiers and international mail. And I don't even have any fingernails to claw my way out.

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